Slice of Lemon

I’m tired of everyday, of adjusting and being called a short fuse. Putting up with stupidity and people’s jibes and barbs and rants, while stifling my own and swallowing it down and letting it out on sleepless nights and days filled with fatigue.
I’m tired of this high performance environment that needs everyone to be outgoing, everyone to be early risers and everyone to be late sleepers.
I’m tired of feeling numb or feeling too much at all, but never feeling what others need me to feel at right moment, at the right time.
I’m always wrong and everyone’s wrong in my eyes, while I’m wrong in theirs and also my own. I hate myself and I hate them and the scorching heat, the summer haze.
Sunshine is supposed to make us happy, light therapy has been globally acclaimed. But all I crave is the cool and the dark, the dim and the calm of no one at all.
But then, lying alone, I crave company, the company of someone I feel, who’s pleasant and nice.
But everyone and everything seems to have wronged me and I feel there’s no one for me. Even love, is nothing, nothing at all but a series of compromises, efforts and adjustments.
And I, am tired of adjusting.

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