I find myself at peace with what filled me with anguish before.
All of my demons have been silenced, but two.
These two continue to eat me out. I can’t find a stray angel to ward them off.
I constantly try to shrug away my expectations, my presumptions at what it should’ve been.
But the change brings back the doubt, the unease.
The demons make merry. They dance and rage through my very being.
My body, my essence. The curve of my waist, my womanly pulse, I want to uphold them with pride.
For the most part I do, on stage I’m pristine.
Then the curtains drop and the rage begins.
My kindred spirit, oh I have dreamt of you ever since I my mind weaved the idea of you.
The paired souls around me swirling inside the pages of texts and the air around me led me to believe, I would find you.
Where are you, I wonder. Are you there? Are you the soul I have?
Tell me, are you supposed to be this half-hearted? Are you supposed to love me so haltingly?
Is the road for our union and the dance beyond supposed to be strewn with thumbnails and legos?
Give me a sign, and this is it and I’ll resign myself and train my feet for this road.
I beg for a sign. I beg for a sign.